Dealing with Difficult Personalities – This is the third topic in a series leading up to the Personal, Career and Leadership Success Seminar, presented by AM800 at the Caboto Club from 7:00 PM to 9:30 PM.

Q: Why is it that certain people get under our skin and we find them difficult?

A: It could be two reasons – first of all it can start with us – we may find certain people difficult because we have decided to judge them and that has to do with our own biases. The second reason is that the person’s behaviour is completely unacceptable to us when we interact with them – they might be too abrasive, not open minded or not action oriented for us.

Q: So if someone is pushing our buttons and causing us to react, what can we do to control that?

A: Sometimes we go through life with one of two types of passengers riding along with us – the first is the judge and the second is the victim – neither of these is particularly helpful so what I recommend is that when someone behaves in an inconsiderate or inappropriate way, you respond first with objective curiosity – “That’s an interesting reaction! I wonder what makes them act like that!” Doing this removes the judgement factor. The next thing is to realize that their behaviour is mostly about them and less about you. Your decision to take it personally is allowing the victim to take over. Being a victim takes away your power. Ask yourself – what is it about me that causes me to allow this person to get under my skin?

Q: Would you suggest that we just avoid these people?

A: Certainly if you can limit your exposure to people that suck the living energy out of you, choose to do that. In some cases we may not be able to and then it becomes necessary to change our mindset. There is a waiter who works at a restaurant my family likes to visit – he used to drive me crazy because he was almost too friendly. I would hope that he wouldn’t be our server and sure enough, he would almost always be our server. So I decided to change my thinking towards him. Instead of being annoyed I realized that this was just his way of personalizing his service. Once I accepted that, it doesn’t bother me to be seated in his section. Another interesting thing happened – I don’t get seated in his section as much as I used to. It’s as if the universe kept exposing me to him to test me and once I decided it didn’t bother me, it stopped happening.

I will be addressing this topic and many more and you should get your tickets to the Personal, Career and Leadership Success Seminar on Feb 20th at the Caboto Club. Visit www.LeadershipWizard.com or call my office at 1-866-700-9043.

Last week we talked about getting unstuck, this week I want people to think about their big dream.

In difficult times, we tend to focus very short term – taking it one day at a time. In the long run however we need to dream big to achieve our full potential.

As an exercise in our leadership programs, we often ask people to think back in their lives and highlight the top five big events that stand out for them. As you can expect, they put in things like schooling, getting married, getting a promotion, getting divorced, having kids, etc.

Then we ask the person to think about the next five highlights in their life going forward. This exercise is much more difficult and usually people will put on things like their retirement, travel and maybe even death!

So no matter where you are at right now in your life and career – think big – what is your dream?

Make the dream as concrete as possible so that you can envision success.
Do you dream of owning your own business, being debt free, having lots of loving relationships with friends and family.

Another exercise we use is – describe your ideal day 5 years from now. So it’s January 2013 – what does your day look like. If you can get a good idea of that, you will find that your path begins to take you there. I did that exercise myself three years ago and it is happening,

If this topic and type of discussion interests you, be sure to get your ticket to the Personal, Career and Leadership Success seminar on Feb 20th at 7 PM at the Caboto Club. Lots of people have bought tickets already to act quickly to avoid disappointment – just go to www.LeadershipWizard.com. Some companies have decided to pay for their staff and even spouses who want to attend that evening.

Next week we look at Your Talents and Gifts.

People often tell me – I feel stuck in my personal life or my career.

First, realize that for the most part, feeling stuck is mostly a function of your mind. Being stuck is usually a function of fear of the unknown or leaving your comfort zone to take a perceived risk towards what you desire.

Ask yourself the questions, “Why do I feel stuck? What do I really want? And What is holding me back?”

Get a good picture in your mind of what you want in your life or your career and make the decision to either stay in your current situation and accept it, or make the decision to make your vision a reality.

In the seminar you’ll have the opportunity to learn this and more and apply it immediately to your situation. Visit www.leadershipwizard.com for ticket info.