When we talk about conflict, for many people what comes to their mind is disagreement, arguement, stress, and difficult. If instead we viewed conflict as essential for healthy and productive workplaces and relationships, then we can harness the positive side of conflict.

Conflict is often associated with change – something is changing and all of a sudden our defenses go up as we try to understand the change – it’s natural and we can rest easy knowing that as we get used to the change – we’ll calm back down again.

We can have conflict at a relatively shallow level – for example we could disagree on the best way to approach an assignment or situation. On the other hand we could have a conflict that runs deeper because we have a difference of values. That type of conflict is more difficult to resolve.

Most people either have an aggressive conflict style (they like conflict and like to battle others). Or they have a passive conflict style and try to avoid others.What we want to move towards is a more constructive view of conflict – it begins with accepting that the other person is entitled to a different viewpoint – so instead of getting upset and judgemental, get curious. “That’s interesting behaviour!” Or “I wonder why that person is getting so bent out of shape.”

Use questions to reveal the true issues – “You seem upset, what’s happening?” Then you can then begin to find common ground.

I teach conflict management workshops for leaders and staff – visit me at www.LeadershipWizard.com

I hope you had a chance to attend the Personal, Career and Leadership Success seminar this past week – it was a smashing success!

This coming Monday we will go back to workplace issues…

Effective Teamwork – How you can make better decisions as a team

Q: What are some of the reasons that teamwork is beneficial at work?

A: No matter how smart you are, when you include other people it generates more ideas and better ideas. That’s because each person comes with their own background and experience and that gives them a unique perspective.

Q: What about when one person on the team dominates?

A: In order for a team to make an effective decision it requires two components – first you need to use good problem solving skills – think about options, look at the consequences of those options. The second component is you need to have good people skills – that’s so one person doesn’t dominate the discussion. It’s interesting that some of the quietest people in the meeting may have thought the longest about the problem and they need to be heard. So the dominant personality needs to step back and actually get the quieter person to raise their ideas.

And remember – just because everyone agrees – does not make it a great idea – sometimes you need to differ and play devil’s advocate – that’s how you get the best possible solution.

One of the services I offer is a workshop on teambuilding – check out the info at www.LeadershipWizard.com

This topic is the final one leading up to the Personal, Career and Leadership Success Seminar, this Wednesday at the Caboto Club. The seminar is at 7 PM, tickets are $25 and will be available at the door.

How do dogs greet one another? They sniff each other – imagine the chaos if we did this. Instead humans use their sense of sight to identify friend or foe. What your brain is looking for is similarities and differences. Have you noticed that as soon as you start driving a new or different vehicle that suddenly everyone is driving the same vehicle? Most of us when we walk by a mirror we will check ourselves out – it’s one of the only ways we know who we are.

Build Rapport – When you watch people in rapport – time goes by quicker, you really get into sync and it opens up trust – so what you do is simply select a person you want rapport with and start matching and mirroring. By subtlely copying their body language you will build rapport. And in rapport people will be more open to your ideas.

Use Your Voice – Tonality, Tempo and Inflection – Generally speaking, the lower the tonality, the more persuasive you are – a nice resonant tone is what you are looking for. Pay attention to the tempo the other person uses – if they speak more quickly, pick up your pace, if they speak slower, slow down. Inflection – if you up inflect at the end of your sentence it causes doubt – if you down inflect it gives you the power of the Jedi mind trick. “You Want to Go and Buy Me A Coffee Now, Don’t You.”

So build rapport and use a deep, resonant tone and the confidence in your communication will increase.

We have a great turnout already at the seminar Wednesday, however we will be selling tickets at the door. Wednesday, February 20th, 7 PM to 9:30 PM at the Caboto Club. You can buy tickets in advance at the Caboto Club office or online – just click on the icon at www.am800cklw.com.

One way of getting a bigger sense of fulfillment from both your job and your personal life is to take an inventory of your gifts and talents.

Q: Are people shy about their strengths?

A: We all know some people who boast about their strengths – the reality is that most people don’t really have a sense of what they are truly gifted at – knowing this can make you happier.

Q: So how does someone figure out their strengths?

A: There are two ways – you can take a personal inventory. Look back over the past 3-5 years are make a list of all the things you are good at. If you have trouble, think of the times when someone came up to you and complimented you about something – example – “Wow, you’re so organized.” or “You are such a good listener.” and instead of shrugging off those compliments, really examine them and accept that you have those gifts and talents.

The second way is to ask the people who know you best at work and at home. “What do you think I am best at?” And pay attention to their answers. Not only will this be a boost to your self-esteem, it can help give you direction on the types of jobs and activities you would be both best at and passionate about.

Remember the Personal, Career and Leadership Success seminar, presented by AM 800, February 20th, starting at 7 PM, at the Caboto Club – tickets are $25 and you can order them online, or buy them in advance at the Caboto Club office during business hours.