Do you want to be less frustrated at work? An engineering manager shared an insight in a leadership course I was teaching a couple of weeks ago. He said that being frustrated is simply a sign that you are avoiding dealing with an issue or concern.
Dictionary.com shows a number of definitions for frustration including: act of being disappointed or thwarted and a feeling of dissatisfaction resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
It would seem at first that your frustration is the fault of someone or something else. That belief can make you feel helpless. Playing the role of victim might garner you some sympathy and yet it rarely results in solving of the underlying problem.
Recognize that a majority (approximately 60%) of the people around you are passive. They defend themselves through avoidance and pretending that everything is okay. If you share this passivity you are contributing to the continuation of what frustrates you.
Instead of trapping yourself in a cycle of disappointment, why not put the issue on the table constructively and attempt to resolve it? In many cases you will find that the other individual is unaware of your feelings.
Action Tips for Being Less Frustrated
- Decide what you want to see happen. Many people know what they DON’T want but do not clearly know what they DO want.
- Meet (not email) with the individual you perceive as the cause of your frustration.
- Explain the situation from your perspective – express yourself clearly and fully.
- Ask the other individual to describe their position.
- Propose a potential solution – be as specific as possible.
- Ask for agreement and deal with any obstacles.
- If you are unsuccessful the first time, be persistent.
If there is no resolution and you decide to live with it, let it go. If you feel strongly enough about it then make a change.
