Getting Others to Help with Your Success

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One of the things we discussed last Wednesday is that most of us try to solve all of our problems on our own – we attempt to be islands of strength, either afraid to ask others for help because we think they will not say yes, or thinking that the other person really will not be very helpful anyway.

There is no shame in tapping into your network to achieve success. Chances are either someone you know directly, or someone who knows someone you know has an answer or a way to help you.

If you consider yourself to be a self-made individual and pride yourself on being independent, you may think asking for help is a sign of weakness – in fact asking for help may build better relationships with the people around you.

Step 1: Determine what you need. What are you looking for? Be as specific as possible so the other person will be able to help you. For example: If you are trying to change careers, you might want to get some contacts within that profession or industry.

Step 2: Who can help you? Your network is bigger than you think. You may have met a specific individual along your journey, or it might be someone you have not met but have heard about. Even asking contacts who you do not think will have the answer might yield a connection. “I’m trying to find out more about high tech job opportunities – who should I talk to?” Almost any connection you are looking for is likely only 2 connections from you – someone you know will know the person you need to connect with.

Step 3: Ask the person. You may be surprised to discover that almost anyone you can think of is able to be approached and often will answer a question. Most people will welcome an approach, especially if you respect the fact that they may be busy. “I was wondering if you could help me?” Avoid criticising their suggestions, or saying things like, “I already knew that.” Instead simply say thank you. You will have already made them feel good because most people like to give advice.

Some companies have invited me in to deliver the “Secrets of Success in Uncertain Times” to their staff and customers. If I can be of help, please visit